


<Grian died of a broken heart>

by Stay_safe_eat_cake



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, I'm really sorry oml, M/M, Permadeath, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, season 7, vent fic honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24752014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stay_safe_eat_cake/pseuds/Stay_safe_eat_cake
Summary: Please mind the tags! Major Tw for Suicide, stay safe everyone!
Relationships: Charles | Grian/Xisumavoid
Comments: 6
Kudos: 133





	

**Author's Note:**

> Please mind the tags! Major Tw for Suicide, stay safe everyone!

** <Grian died of a broken heart>**

Overwhelmed. 

Xisuma was overwhelmed.

Everything hurt.

He couldn't breathe.

What’s happening.

Is he really doing this?

He can’t do this.

.

He has to do this.

.

It's been going on for too long.

3 years.

He can’t do it anymore.

He can’t keep going.

He tried.

Tried so hard.

He tried for himself 

For the Hermits.

For Grian.

He tried.

He was done.

Done.

It was too much 

To much.

.

Since he was admin it was quite easy to find the glitch.

Now he just had to do it.

Do it.

His finger hovered over the button that would in theory send out the line of code that would end his life.

Permanently.

No respawn.

Do it.

Give up.

Do it.

They'll be fine without you.

He'll be fine without you.

They don’t need you.

**_Do it._ **

.

.

_ <Xisumavoid [Respawn Error] Xisumavoid> _

_ <Xisumavoid fell out of the world> _

_ <[ERROR]> _

.

.

Grian was the first one to Xisuma's base after the ominous death message popped into the chat. He had been on his way anyways, he wanted to talk about what was going on. Xisuma had been acting weird lately. He was anxious, jumpy and getting less sleep than usual. Which is saying something when it comes to Xisuma.

He just wasn't acting like himself.

And Grian wanted to help.

.

But he was too late.

.

Grian landed clumsily in the storage tower, something felt off, the honey bee-inspired jungle base felt cold and empty.

"Xisuma?" Chills went up his spine as he called out his boyfriend’s name looking around the base. His gaze landed on the center of the room, there was a lectern and a chest. 

" ‘Suma? Hun?" 

Grian walked carefully towards the lectern, picking up the book anxiously.

Something was wrong, he could feel it. He took a deep breath and opened the book.

_Dear Hermits,_

_If you’re reading this, I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough._

_I'm sorry I couldn't help everyone_

_I'm sorry I let my thoughts take control of me._

_I'm sorry I gave up._

_I don’t know if you'll miss me, I'm not sure if I hope you will or not._

_I just couldn't do it, I couldn't keep going._

_Everything was driving me insane. I couldn't go a day without sinking into a deep_

_depression. I tried to get better by I couldn't. I tried to get help but my mind_

_wouldn't let me._

_I give up._

_I'm done._

_I'm sorry._

_The glitch I found can not be reversed. I'm gone I'm sorry._

_I love you all of you._

_Sincerely,_

_Xisumavoid._

Tears were streaming down his face

No, this can’t be happening.

He turned to the next page afraid of what was to come.

It was full of more writing split up into sections, each section had a Hermits name above it.

Pain filled his chest as his eyes rested on his section.

  
  


_For Grian,_

_I'm sorry love. I've been trying to write this for hours now, I just can't find_

_the right words. I just need you to know this is not your fault. There was nothing_

_you could do. Please don’t blame yourself, you were the best thing that’s ever happened to me._

_I love you, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. Please take care of yourself_

_I love you._

_I wish you the best of luck in the rest of your life._

_I love you Grian._

This can’t be happening.

He can’t be gone.

If he had just been a little quicker.

This can’t.

No.

Grian sunk to his knees dropping the book to his side, pain-filled sobs shook his body as curled into himself clutching his chest.

No. 

He.

Can’t.

This.

Can’t.

So wrapped up in his grieving thoughts Grian didn't even notice Keralis who had just flown in. 

He ran over to the smaller man, crouching down onto the floor beside him.

"Brian? Whats-?"He glanced around worriedly and picked up the book he noticed lying next to them on the ground, he skimmed over the open page.

Dread filling him as he processed the written words.

"Oh, Shishwammy," Keralis said pulled the sobbing man into a hug, letting his own tears begin to fall.

.

Eventually, more Hermits showed up and Grian was guided out of the base and taken back to his hobbit hole.

He didn’t know by who.

Kind words and comforting whispers surrounded him as he was led to his bed.

He didn’t know what was happening.

Whoever had brought him there left eventually leaving him alone.

He could barely think.

His mind was running a mile a minute.

His chest felt like it was going to explode.

This couldn't be happening.

This isn't real.

The pain in his chest was it heartbreak or something else?

Could he have saved him?

This isn't real.

Right?

The pain was unbearable.

All he could do is clutch his chest and cry.

Why?

Could I have-?

Is it my-?

This can't.

No.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

His chest.

The pain.

I'm sorry.

.

.

_ <Grian died of a broken heart> _

.

.

Unlike the lover he lost that day, Grian respawned in his bed.

He wished he didn’t though.

**Author's Note:**

> It's literally 6 am right now I'm sorry if this is bad, I may or may not have been projecting a bit lol.  
> Also sorry for not having an Egotistical chapter out, it's been painfully hard to write but I'm getting there ~_~


End file.
